House Rules, by the Very Tortured Reever Wenham
by sQuIsHeDbRoCcOlLi
Summary: the next 50 rules all must abide by when within HQ, -SEQUEL to House Rules, by Reever Wenham-


_**PLEASE READ THIS:** prior knowledge of rule 13 is required, so please read House Rules, by Reever Wenham first. for those who forgot/can't be bothered, rule 13 basically bans the exorcists from tampering with the list/voicing out opinions on the list._

_**DISCLAIMER:**  
Hare Hare Yukai belongs to Hirano Aya  
Edward Cullen belongs to Meyer  
Edward Elric belongs to Hiromu Arakawa and Fullmetal Alchemist/Hagane no Renkinjutsushi  
quidditch belongs to Harry Potter and JK Rowling  
ribena pastilles belong to Ribena  
hana yori dango belongs to...erm...nittere?  
Allelujah Haptism belongs to Gundam 00 and Sunrise  
geass belongs to Lelouche and Code Geass and Sunrise  
corocorokuririn belongs to Sanrio (I think)  
pokéballs belong to Pokémon  
McDonald's belongs to McDonald's  
I do not own coffee, Milo, or Ovaltine. they belong to their respective producers/manufacturers  
Hinamori and Ran belong to Shugo Chara!  
GN field belongs to Gundam 00  
Doughnut Hockey belongs to Veggietales  
Daite Señorita belongs to YamaPi (Yamashita Tomohisa)  
I have no idea who All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth belongs to, but it isn't me  
I do not own Arashi  
paracetemol and panadol belong to the pharmacy  
Deviantart belongs to its site coordinators  
I do not own Bananas in Pyjamas either  
Ultra balls and Master balls belong to Pokémon  
TeniMyu and St Rudolph belong to Prince of Tennis/Tenisu no Oujisama  
Sougyo no Kotowari belongs to Bleach  
Zombie Funeral belongs to Zombie-Loan  
Tonari no Totoro belongs to Hisaishi Jo  
RESCUE belongs to KAT-TUN  
5-metre Jellies belong to Odoroki no Arashi  
I do not and will never own dGray-man, which belongs to Hoshino Katsura who is once again unwell  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -__  
_

51. The Hare Hare Yukai is not to be used as a form of exercise.

52. Kindly do not play Musical Chairs in the cafeteria.

52a. Ne, Reever-san? Shouldn't it be Musical BENCHES?

52b. Lavi, please refer to Rule 13.

52c. But you denied us a copy! How are we supposed to know what's allowed and what's not?

52d. Fine, fine! Take one!

53. Do not play Ultimate Frisbee over Komui-shitsuchou's head with your mission briefing booklets.

53a. The point system for the game will NOT be based on the number of times you manage to hit Komui-shitsuchou on the head with the booklet.

54. It will not be appreciated when you place a sign outside your room door that says "the doctor is IN"

54a. It is also not advisable that you place a sign outside your room door that says "the doctor is OUT"

55. Do not stand Krory in the sun and ask him to sparkle.

55a. It is a talent specific to Edward Cullen and ONLY Edward Cullen. No Edward Elric.

56. Using the in-built cannon in the elevator to set someone's room on fire is disallowed.

56a. Children, please do not play with fire.

56b. CHILDREN?

56c. Calm down, Yuu-kun. He's right, ya know, you act like a little kid.

56d. I believe Reever-hanchou was referring to YOU, you rabid rabbit. How much do you think old people would pay for red hair?

57. There will be no cultivation of "water babies" in the common bath area.

58. Do not attempt to play Quidditch with Timcanpi.

58a. Kindly return the brooms to Komurin IV.

59. Ribena pastilles are not soluble.

59a. Stop trying to dissolve them in Kanda's soup.

60. Hana Yori Dango has nothing to do with mitarashi dango.

60a. Allen, stop buying the DVDs because you won't get any free dango.

60b. Or flowers

61. Arystar Krory is not Allelujah Haptism, so please stop flicking his fringe back and forth to see if anything will happen.

62. Nobody, I repeat, NOBODY, here has a geass.

62a. Stop trying to geass the akuma in becoming the next generation of care bears that Kanda wiped out the last time round with mugen and just beat them up.

63. Stop arguing about whether Corocorokuririn is a squirrel, bear, or elephant.

63a. And to set the record straight, Lavi suggested it was an elephant just to join in the argument with us.

63b. Allen Walker! Refer to Rule 13!

63c. Kanda! Talk to Reever-san! He's not being reasonable!

63d. Go away, the three of you. I don't care if it's a squirrel, bear, elephant or skunk, just stop arguing and go away.

63e. Oh, that makes sense! What if it IS a skunk?

63f. LAVI! GO AWAY!

64. The pokéballs from McDonald's are not real. Please stop buying the happy meals and then throwing the pokéball at someone just to see if he would go in.

65. Hawaiian pizzas do not come with grass skirts

66. The next person to make Kanda vomit into the bath area will clean the whole thing up himself.

66a. So if you want to redeem yourself, remove the rubber ducks.

67. Do not, on any account, try to replace Komui-shitsuchou's coffee with Milo or Ovaltine.

67a. Unless, of course, you want another Komurin prancing around HQ doing the happy dance together with its creator who just happened to be on one of those rare sugar highs more commonly caused by the high sugar content of Milo and Ovaltine.

67b. Can we put chocolate sauce, then?

67c. Lavi Bookman Jr., kindly refer to Rule 13

67d. But-

67e. No 'but's. End of discussion.

67f. But _I _have a butt!

68. Stop trying to steal Hinamori Amu's Shugo Chara to use on Kanda.

68a. Now please return Ran to Shugo Chara! and let Amu take charge from there.

69. The Talisman Shield is not a GN field.

70. A holepuncher is a type of stationery, not a weapon that blasts boxing gloves so hard they make holes in whatever they hit.

71. Oven-bake clay is _not_ edible, I repeat, _not edible_. Someone please get Walker-kun and his drool away from the clay.

72. Taking Komui-Shitsuchou's hat to see how many buns you can put inside it is disallowed.

72a. So that means it's okay to take it to see how much coffee it can hold?

72b. Lavi-kun, hats do not hold liquid. It would all leak out. Now please see Rule 13.

73. Kindly stop making lanterns out of magazine paper and hanging them around Kanda's room door.

73a. "But the whole area is too darn dark and emo" is not a valid excuse to do so.

74. The Doughnut Hockey Tournament is not to be held in Allen's presence.

74a. In any case Allen wants to participate or spectate, please use a proper puck and not a doughnut, lest he get hypnotised like last year.

74b. Please do not use a plastic doughnut just to see whether Allen's system is capable of digesting it.

75. Singing 'Daite Señorita' and prancing around Kanda is strictly prohibited.

76. Singing 'All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth' around Krory has also been disallowed.

77. An Internet Cafe is not a place where you eat and trade seafood.

77a. Someone _please_ lock Allen in his room.

78. Shouting "ARASHI IS HERE!!!" when Lavi uses Ki-Ban is not appropriate.

79. Stop mixing paracetemol and panadol just to see what colour you get.

80. Deviantart is not a type of tart.

80a. Allen Walker is now banned from using the internet.

81. "Bananas in Pyjamas" is a **fictitious **children's cartoon show.

81a. Stop stealing bananas from the kitchen.

81b. _Especially _stop throwing them down the stairs

82. Putting up umbrellas whenever Kanda walks past is childish behaviour that we will not withstand.

83. Now that the Pokéball trend has lost its novelty, _STOP throwing the styrofoam Ultra Balls around!_

83a. Plasticine Ultra Balls will also not be tolerated.

83b. Master Balls have also been disallowed.

84. Ducks of all kind have now been banned from the bathroom.

84a. Someone please return the giant stuffed duck to Tenimyu's St. Rudolph-ians.

85. Stealing Mugen and screaming "nami kotogotoku waga tate to nare, inazuchi kotogotoku waga yaiba to nare; Sougyo no Kotowari!" does not give you Nigentou.

86. Also, stealing Mugen and pointing it at the sky in front of a dying Akuma does not perform a Zombie Funeral.

87. Do not flip out if Komui-Shitsuchou comes prancing down the hallways singing "Tonari no Totoro". Simply whack him soundly on the head and drag him back to the office.

87a. We, the Science Department, will deal no punishment should you accidentally (on purpose) cause the strange man brain damage.

88. MMORPG does not stand for Massive Millions Of Really Pleasing Good food.

88a. Someone kindly remove all forms of internet access from Allen Walker.

89. Removing your Black Order cloak while on a mission is prohibited, unless while sleeping.

89a. You never know when you may need it as a parachute. (you know, like when you accidentally jump off the bridge and miss the train)

90. Kindly stop drawing lots just to see which poor soul will be the next one to make a ridiculous suggestion on the rule sheet.

90a. Someone please tell Lavi to stop doodling carpark lots.

91. The exorcists will stop arguing over my head _now_ or I will personally see to it that Komui-shitsuchou repairs all of your Innocence.

92. Kindly stop giving Panadols to General Yeegar for his birthday.

92a. We all know that you care very much about his wellbeing, but the General does not have headaches, neither does he have backaches.

93. Yet.

93a. Kindly refer to Rule 13, Yuu-kun; and we all know you got the short straw.

93b. General Tiedoll will also kindly refer to Rule 13.

94. Taking a chopstick and pointing it at your worst enemy and viciously screaming "Avada Kedavra" will not kill your enemy.

94a. In fact, your would stand a better chance if you walked up to him and started poking him.

95. Smearing toothpaste over the seat of the toilet bowl just to see who would notice first is not acceptable.

96. Playing strip poker during office hours is strictly prohibited.

96a. Playing dress poker has also been disallowed.

97. Singing RESCUE in the middle of the night while working overtime yet unpaid hours has been banned, no matter how appropriate the lyrics.

98. The construction of 5-metre Jellies has been disallowed for the overal safety of general society.

99. Every single exorcist and General is to be well-versed with Rule 13

100. This set of rules has every right to have a lame ending.

_-signed but once again not approved by Reever Wenham, who may be retiring in the near future-_

* * *

_Okay, so I kind of realised that as the list goes on, more and more references were made to the first list. ooops. _

_So, I decided to make a list of which rule refers to which rule. Here goes:_

_52b - 13  
63b - 13  
64 - 45  
66 - 24b  
66a - 24  
67c - 13  
73a - 1  
82 - 25  
83 - 45  
84 - 24  
87 - 40  
93a - 13  
100 - 50_

_besides that, if anyone doesn't get any of my strange gags that use a LOT of references to other things, feel free to PM me or drop a review to ask me. but the one that I MUST explain is 75. basically there's this J-pop song, called Daite Señorita, and Daite (抱いて) kind of means "hold me" in a HUG ME~~~ kind of way. Señorita, I'm sure everyone knows that señorita refers to females. _

_Now, my ending words: the green button and I are very happy that you have reached the end, so we would both appreciate it a lot if you clicked my good friend the Green Button. Yes, the one that says Review this Story/Chapter. _


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